Beautiful Misery
by darrenitis
Summary: After an attack, Jeff is left alone and depression takes over. When he transfer to a new school, will a cute junior be the one to help Jeff find his voice again? Warnings: Self-Harm, Depression, Homophobia, Bullying, Child Abuse, Some Language
1. Chapter 1

_Pain. Coursing through his veins. That is all there is. That, and screaming coming from his own lungs. He was vaguely aware of the screams slowly becoming quieter. _

_And then darkness. All that was left was a voice. A very familiar voice. _

_"Jeff?" it said, the voice lined with worry._

_"Jeff? Buddy, wake up"_

_'I can't!' I wanted to scream back._

_"Jeff! wake up!"_

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><p>He bolts upright in his bed, the sheets tangled and sweat covering his body.<p>

Oh, right, just a nightmare.

I should be used to those by now. But no, I shouldn't. It's only been a week since Jeff was discharged from the hospital. A month since the attack. A month since his entire life changed.

"Jeff! c'mon! hurry up!"

I got out of bed wincing as I caused the stitches to move in my lower stomach.

I pulled up my shirt and just looked at the long incision from the right side of my ribs down to my left hip.

That is going to be a nasty scar. I get ready slowly for the day, and brush my teeth before opening my door.

I slowly walked up the stairs and was greeting by my dad looking at me worriedly.

"Are you okay?"

I shook my head, no.

He pulled me into a hug, and I flinched. I saw the concern in his eyes. He couldn't even hug his son without causing him pain, whether if it was physically or mentally. But then again, maybe the concern was my imagination, my dad have never shown in interest in me. He just pretends he's a good father.

"Will you ever talk to me, son?"

I just shrugged.

He sighs, "Well we better get going, we have to the tour for you at Dalton."

I immediately panic. I don't say anything. I haven't spoken a single word since the attack. I haven't wanted to. I feel like I shouldn't. I'm nothing, why should I waste the oxygen?

My dad doesn't know I feel like this, but now, of course I wouldn't tell him.

I grab a pen and a pad of paper before climbing into the car. My dad follows closely behind. I look out the car window for the whole drive. Soon enough, we're here. I haven't done much research on this place, all I know is that it has a no-tolerance bullying system. But I'm still scared.

I get out of the car and shut my eyes in pain as I the car hits a bruise of my shoulder.

We make our way up to the office and my dad asks to see the principle.

I tune out of the conversation when the principle walks up. I look around my surroundings and take in the beauty of the school I will soon be boarding in for the next two years, not including holidays and breaks.

The place is really magnificent. My father didn't want me board but the drive was much too long to make every day, so he reluctantly agreed.

"Jeff?"

I look over, the principle is holding out his hand, "Hello Jeff, I am Principle Smith" **(LOL sorry couldn't think of a better name!)**

I look at his hand and slowly shake it. Personal contact is not something I enjoy anymore.

I nod and turn away as I hear my dad explain that I don't talk anymore.

"Oh Nick!" I hear the principle shout.

"Aye' Whats up T?" the boy says

"well I was wondering if you wanted to give a tour to Jeff over here, seeing as he is going to be attending Dalton starting tomorrow" he said clapping a hand on my shoulder.

I flinch away from the touch. Nick seems to notice this as he smiles sadly at me, "Sure. I'd love to"

"Well, I better get going, son, you're boxes are all up in your room, okay?" my dad asks

I nod.

"I'll see you later." he says

I look up at him.

"okay, umm goodbye son"

I turn back towards Nick and he is rubbing the back of his neck.

"okay, um hi I'm Nick"

I nod and do a 'half-wave'

"whats your name?" he asks

I take my pen and paper out.

'Jeff'

He looks at me, confused.

"oh, um you don't talk?"

I shake my head at look down at my shoes.

"Hey, its okay, no one will treat you differently here."

I look up at him in utter disbelief, but all I see is reassurance in his beautiful brown eyes.

_'beautiful? where did that come from Jeff? you JUST met him'_

I shake myself out of my thoughts and give Nick a small smile.

"okay, well how about I show you the senior commons?"

'okay' I write

We walk into the senior commons where there are two boys talking to each other.

"Hey Wes, David." Nick says

"What's up man?" The one called Wes asks.

"Just showing around the new kid. Guys, this is Jeff."

I give them a nervous smile.

"Hey." Wes says. and David waves in my direction.

Nick whispered something in their ears and their eyes widen in concern and confusion.

I vaguely heard Nick say 'He doesn't talk'

I just stand there fiddling with my hands.

"you don't have to be nervous" David says "C'mon, I'll introduce you to some other Warblers"

My eyebrows knit together in confusion. _What are Warblers?_

"It's okay, we don't bite" Nick says smiling "Let's go"

I turn around and follow Nick, Wes, and David slowly into the halls of Dalton Academy.

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><p><strong>So um, yeah, that was my attempt of a first chapter. I really don't know when I'll be able to get the next chapter up. Hopefully, tomorrow(:<strong>

**Hope you liked it ;) R&R**


	2. Chapter 2

I follow the boys out into the halls and stop right in front of the doors I assume to be the cafeteria. I hesitate.

I can't do this. I've lived through so much torment in rooms like this at my old school. But I have to do this. I don't want them to think I'm some sort of freak.

"Hey, don't worry" Nick says.

They open the door and I follow closely behind.

Its loud. I can smell the food. Its nothing like the horrid odor at Westervile North HS. Ew, just the though of that school makes my stomach churn. This place is clean, but it is still loud.

"Hey you guys" Wes said happily "This is Jeff! He's new!"

David turned around and pointed to people as he told me names that I tried hard to remember.

"Thad, Sebastian, Trent, Cameron, Charlie, Kurt, Blaine"

I smiled nervously.

"Hey" Kurt said walking up to me, Blaine coming up behind him. His hand extended towards mine as I just gazed at it.

He sensed my hesitation and lowered his hand, but as I gazed into his eyes, I didn't notice disappointed as expected, but understanding.

Blaine offered a small smile which I sadly gave back.

Just then I noticed their intertwined fingers as Blaine gave Kurt a gentle squeeze of his hand.

I looked at their hands with jealousy. I wanted that. I had that. But then it was lost. Lost forever.

I smiled at them; happy that they could be happy in this horrible town filled with no acceptance.

They smiled back. It turned awkward very fast before Blaine asked, "Where did you transfer from?" he asked.

I wrote down, 'Westerville North'

They looked at me with uncertainty

"Really? I was at Westervile Central." Blaine said trying to ease the obvious tension.

"Why did you transfer?" Kurt asked

I visibly tensed up, and Kurt noticed this. He leaned forward, "Are you gay?" he whispered

My eyes widened and I looked around in a panic before remembering where I was. I nodded.

"Bullying?" he asked. Once again, I nodded.

I looked at him my eyes asking 'How did you know?'

"I was bullied too, that's why I'm here"

Oh. So his bullying was so bad he had to transfer schools. Just like me. Although, I wouldn't consider what happened to me bullying, I'd say it was torture.

My mind was wrapped up in terrible memories, I didn't notice my hands shaking, or Nick asking me if I was okay. Suddenly, Kurt was next to me leaning in my ear, "Its okay, Its not real, Its a flashback."

I snapped out of my thought. I looked at him_. How did he know I was having a flashback?_

As if he was reading my mind, he answered "I've been there too." he looked at me "And so has Blaine. And Nick."

I looked up at him. Nick, the name put a smile on my face. I felt as though we'd be very close while I was at this school.

I then realized I was slowly walking away, following all the boys as the bell rang, walking slowly next to Nick. "Hey" he said "You doing alright?" He was worrying about me? No one has ever cared about me. I swear this is the first day in nine years that my dad has been sober. I've always had to take care of myself, and this one question made my day. I looked at him and nodded.

Two Day Later*

It turns out my room partner is Nick. Oh, Thank God. His room is clean, and smells a little like Axe. But I don't mind. It smells also like Nick. Right now, we're sitting on our beds, facing each other sitting cross legged, and studying. I've adapted very well to Dalton in two days, although its pretty easy when you don't talk.

I feel my eyes drooping as I lean back into my pillows, suddenly losing all consciousness.

_'Bam! that's the sound of my head connecting with the locker. That one hurt a lot. I let out a little whimper but I stay on my two feet. I feel my head begin to throb as I saw the jocks fist pumping each other walking away as if nothing happened. I pull out Tylenol from my bag. This has become an hourly occurrence so I knew I would need something to take the edge off. The teachers do nothing, and the students just stand there either whispering behind my back or pretending I'm not even there._

_Whispers. Everywhere._

_'Fag'_

_'Homo'_

_'Lady'_

_'Die'_

_'Just kill yourself already'_

_'You're just a waste of space'_

_'No one wants you here'_

_Bam! This time, the scene has changed. Im in an empty warehouse and that noise echoing around the building is a fist colliding with my jaw ad sending me flying into a trash can._

_Laughter._

_How is this funny?_

_Another punch. Kicks. And then a little piece of silver._

_Screams._

_My own screams._

_"Jeff wake up! Its just a dream! Wake up!"_

_Screams._

_"Its just me, Its Nick, Wake Up!"_

My eyes open, my vision blurred with tears. I grab onto Nick and bury my head in his shoulder. He's hugging me back.

"Please don't leave me"

Suddenly we both freeze. Nick leans back to look into my eyes. A small grin playing on his lips.

"Did you just talk?"

"Don't tell anyone"

He nods. "Our little secret as long as you'll talk to me more often.

I nod.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey, so trigger warning. If this could trigger you in ANY way, please don't read.**

**Warnings: Self Harm, small suicidal thoughts, and homophobic slurs**

**Hope you like! **

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><p>I know I have to punish myself for this.<p>

I grip the razor and drag it across my arm, the beads of crimson following the path. The release is amazing. Everybody can do whatever they want to me, but this is the only thing I can control myself. My dad can beat me when he's drunk, the bullies can torture me for just loving someone, but no one can take this away from me.

My dad. I hate that man. The only reason he hugged me is because he didn't want to seen like a bad father, even though he has told me many times he hates me and wishes I was someone else. He says he's too drunk to remember the times when he beat me into unconsciousness. He states he doesn't remember ever leaving bruises or burns on me. Bullshit. But I remember. Every minute of it. Every day when I move I'm reminded when I feel the sensation of my back stretching. It burns. I don't tell anyone because I'm too scared.

I'm such a coward. I can't take a couple hits like a man. But somewhere deep down, I know it's wrong. He's been doing this since I was seven. That's nine years.

That's one of the reasons I'm dragging the blade across my arm again. Three, four, five, six more times.

I hiss at the pain as the water runs over the fresh cuts.

The other reason is the bullies. My eyes close as a painful memory takes over my thoughts.

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><p><em>"Fag"<em>

_Slam! The lock of a locker is pressed in between my two shoulder blades._

_"Cock-sucker"_

_There's a force against my chest as I try to fight back to no extent, the lock painfully bruising its way into my skin._

_"Just do us a favor, and kill yourself"_

_My head is slammed back into the locker. I whimper at the pain as I slide down the locker, sitting on the cold floor._

_I drove home. I couldn't stand another minute at this hell-hole._

_Not today._

_Today is the anniversary of my mother's death. She was in a car crash exactly seven years ago. I'm fourteen now. The day she died was the first day my father beat me. He said if I hadn't gotten sick, then she wouldn't have been on her way to pick me up from the nurse's office at school in second grade._

_He thinks it's my fault._

_I pull into my driveway as tears cloud up my vision._

_My dad's car is in the driveway. That's weird, he should be at work._

_I walk into the house and go into the living room._

_My dad is sitting on the recliner with a bottle of whiskey in his hand._

_"You're home early" he says._

_"Yeah. Tough day." I reply_

_"Whatever"_

_"I'll be upstairs"_

_"Oh, no you won't"_

_He gets up off the couch and walks over to me. I brace myself, I already know what's going to happen._

_The first punch hurt. But, there's no use in fighting back. I learned that the hard way. I tried blocking punches before and that only got me more beatings._

_More punches, kicks, slaps._

_I'm on the floor now, curled up the best I can, tears falling freely down my face._

_"I'm not even drunk, fag."_

_I wince at the name. How did he figure out I was gay?_

_He answered the questions in my thoughts._

_"I got a phone call today, telling me my son was gay." he says harshly "No son of mine is gay"_

_He spat on me and after another kick, he walks out of the house like nothing's happened._

_I stayed curled up for a few minutes before realizing it was probably best to get up before he gets back. I take a shower to wipe the blood off and wince as I poke a bruise on my ribs._

_Then I saw the razor._

_That was the first time I cut._

_I don't know what it was, but seeing the red drip down my arm gave me a sense of reassurance as if telling me it would be alright. Of course I was still a minor for four more years, but then I would be out of the horrid town and make something of myself._

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><p>I open my eyes and wince as I realize my grip on the razor was causing a deep cut in my hand. I think about some things as I wash the blood, step out of the shower, get band-aids, and put on some sweats and a flannel.<p>

I mostly think about my life.

I've thought about suicide many times. I've gotten close before. I want to die sometimes so much it hurts. But then I remember that I am going to get out of this town. Sometimes cutting is what I do when I think it is the only thing stopping me from committing suicide. It's the feeling as I slice my arm that everything is real. The two years before I leave this town is real.

"Only two more years" I whisper to myself.

Without that reassurance, I would've ended it a long time ago.

I walk out of the bathroom to see Nick laying on his bed with his arms behind his head, smiling at me.

Oh, his beautiful arms... _Wait, what?_

"Well, you took _forever"_ he says smiling

I look down guiltily. Soon, his expression changes. "I'm just kidding Jeff, c'mon loosen up."

I spare a small smile and go to my bed before laying down and closing my eyes. It takes a while before I fall into a fitful sleep just as I hear the shower turn on.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry this is late, but yeah I hope you like it...its short but ITS AN IMPORTANT LITTLE CHAPTER! R&R!**

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><p>It's been two weeks since I've spoken to nick.<p>

I haven't said another word since even though he's been begging me to talk. I know if I slip up and say something, I will have to add another scar to my arms. I've been so mad at myself for that mess-up that I've been punishing myself alot. There's almost no more room left on my arms and chest. But of course no one has noticed because nobody cares about me. The nightmares are still horrible, but instead of waking nick up with my screams, I lock myself in the bathroom after he goes to sleep and sleep in the floor with the razor held in my palm.

I wake up in the morning before nick does. I get ready and walk out the door just as nicks alarm goes off. I walk down and sit with Wes, David, Blaine, Kurt, Thad, Sebastian, and Trent. They look up at me and smile as I sit down.

''arent you gonna eat?'' Blaine asks  
>I shake my head no.<p>

I see Blaine exchange worried glances with the rest of the table but I couldn't care less.

'hey guys' nick says as he walks up  
>They all exchange greetings as I stare at my shoes.<br>I feel nicks eyes on my as well as everyone elses but I don't look up.  
>I get up and leave the cafeteria without a glance back.<p>

Nicks POV*

"okay, guys I need to talk to you" Nick says seriously.

"what's up?" Thad says.

"I found a bunch of tissues in the trashcan this morning" he pauses "covered in blood"

I hear a bunch of gasps around the table.

"you don't think-" David doesn't even finish his sentence.

"yeah, I think so.." I say

I look over at blaine expectantly

"Why is everyone looking at me?" he asks nervously

"you know why." Wes says.

I see Blaine scratch at his wrists where his scars lie under his blazer.

"oh." he says

Kurt rubs Blaine's back, "its okay baby, we just think you should talk to him, at least you know what he's feeling."

"Fine" Blaine says

I get up, "i'll see you guys at lunch." I say waving.

I walk into math noticing Jeff is sitting in the back with his head down.

I sit down next to him, "hey" i said.

He jumps and looks up at me before looking back down.I was about to say more when the teacher walks in.

Through the entire class, Jeff never once looks up. He just stares at his hands fiddling nervously under the desk.

The second the bell rings, he's gone. Now I have to wait until lunch to see him again.

My classes go by dangerously slow until finally the bell rings for lunch.

I sigh as I grab my bag and head towards the cafeteria, noticing Jeff is nowhere in sight.

"where's Jeff?"

A bunch of 'I don't knows' and 'Haven't seen him' are heard around the table.

I look at Blaine nervously and he mouths 'cover me for the rest of classes'

I nod as he gets up and heads toward my room.

Blaine's POV*

I walk towards the door as my mind is swimming with thoughts.

I'm thinking about what to say just as I knock on the door.

Jeff answers, and he looks surprised to see me.

"Jeff, we need to talk"

He visibly tenses up and I walk into the room before he can back out of the soon-to-be depressing conversation.

Jeff's POV*

I tense up as Blaine nervously says the words, "We need to talk"

I'm about to just close the door when he seems to have other ideas as he pushes past me and sits down on Nick's bed.

My shoulders drop as I close and lock the door.

I sit on my bed and look at the floor before Blaine starts the obviously nerve-wracking conversation.

"Jeff", Blaine says quietly, "I know about the cutting."

_'Oh shit. This is going to be a **long** day.'_

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><p><em><strong>Well yeah! hope you liked it! I'll have more up soon!<strong>_


	5. Chapter 5

Here you guys go! sorry its late, my account hasn't been working :( well, hope you enjoy! :D

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><p>Jeff's POV<p>

I instantly tensed up and looked around for a place to escape, but Blaine wasn't going to let me go anytime soon.

"You aren't going anywhere. Trust me I know how it feel, like you can't let anyone in-"

I got up and ran to the notepad before Blaine even finished his sentence.

'YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH!

DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME THAT YOU UNDERS-'

Blaine grabbed my notebook and threw it across the room.

"Actually, Jeff, I know EXACTLY what you're feeling. Like I said, I'VE. BEEN. THERE." Now Blaine was irritated as he yanked up his sleeve and I saw hundreds, maybe even thousands of white scars up and down both his arms.

I gasped.

"W-Why?" I asked quietly.

He looks up at me in utter shock that I had just spoken.

"You-You can talk?" he asked. I nodded. He looked back down at his arms and pulled down his sleeves trying to cover up his marred skin. "It-It's a long story."

I leaned back against the wall and pulled my knees up to my chest.

"I've got time" I mumbled.

"Well, actually I could just get to the point..I don't have to tell you the whole story right?" Now the ever-so-dapper Blaine Anderson just looked like a small child about to cry.

I could already see the unshed tears glistening in his eyes.

"Of course not, just tell me whatever you're comfortable with" I reply.

"Well umm.. It-it-started when I was four. First just some touches. I-I didn't know how to deal with it, I thought it was normal, but I was only four, so I couldn't have known better right?"

I nod slowly, frightened by where I think this story is leading.

"B-By the time I was eight, He, um He, made me do stuff, stuff I didn't want to do. Umm." he trailed off

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" I asked

"Umm, well basically, between the ages of nine and fourteen, I-I was raped thirty-nine times" he said.

I gulped before asking the question I've been dreading.

A couple tears spilled out of my tightly closed eyes. "Do you- Do you want to tell me who 'He' is?"

He looks at me, then down at his shoes, almost shamefully, "My Dad" he whispers as the first tear fall slowly out of his eyes.

I watch the tear slide down his cheek, over his chin, down his neck, and under his shirt, before I speak again.

"I-I'm so sorry." I say because that's the first thing that comes to mind.

"It's okay, I mean it obviously isn't okay, it's awful, but he's in prison now so he can't hurt me physically anymore. Bu-But I mean, it still hurts you know? I mean your parents are supposed to love you no matter what, but the only thing I've ever experienced from them was pain. I was just so stupid to not tell anyone, But I couldn't you see, h-he said he'd hurt Mom, and she's so small and fragile, but now- now it's all my fault because she did get hurt and I didn't tell anyone until afterwards. I feel so stupid- and worthless, and God, I did deserve this didn't I? It's all my faul-"

I cut him off by tackling him in a bone-crushing hug resulting in both of us falling on Nick's bed.

"It's okay" I repeated, whispering into his hair.

He looks up at me, tears falling freely from his eyes.

I look him straight in the eye, "Blaine. Anderson. IT. IS. NOT. YOUR. FAULT."

He nods slowly, and I see something. A sparkle in his eye. It looks just like- _hope._

I look at him before slowly saying, "I-I'll tell you my story. D-Do you think I can tell all the Warblers, Like-like a 'kill-two-birds-one-stone' kind of thing?" I stutter

"Do whatever feels right to you, and you alone." Ah, there's the Blaine I know.

"Tomorrow" I say confidently before looking him in the eyes, "Don't tell anyone I talked" I whispered.

He nods before smiling at me.

I hesitantly give him a tiny smile back which only causes his grin to grow larger.

I stand up, brush off my clothes, give him a shy smile, and walk out the door to the library, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

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><p><strong>! <strong>

**NEXT CHAPTER- JEFF'S STORY! WHY WAS HE IN THE HOSPITAL, WHY DOES HE CUT, WHY THE NIGHTMARES, WHY-WHY-WHY! WELL, I'LL GET BACK TO YOU HOPEFULLY IN A DAY OR TO AND GIVE YOU ALL THE ANSWERS YOU HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR.**

**Thanks everyone who is reading this. It means so much to me, and everyone is so amazingly sweet, and this is my very first fanfic on here! ****R&R****! :D Love you guys!**


	6. Chapter 6

**ch. 6! hope you like! please review! it means a lot! it's a little short...but important!**

Jeff's POV

'send it.' I texted Blaine

Suddenly I heard the random dings going off around the dorms. I just asked Blaine to send a mass text to all the warblers that I hang out with, saying, 'Warbler Hall. 5 minutes.'

Now I just have to wait.

I plopped down on the couch and put my feet up on the coffee table. I leaned back and rubbed my eyes with the heels of my palms. I groaned as I heard the distant footsteps becoming louder and soon enough the double doors opened.

Wes, David, Trent, Thad, Blaine, Kurt, Cameron, Sebastian, Charlie, and Nick all walked in.

They all gave me curious glances seeing as I didn't talk and the rest of the people there were all warblers.

Blaine came over and offered me his hand. I grabbed it and let him pull me up onto the couch next to him. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and as I looked around the room, I saw... _confused? mad? _looks sent my way.

I glanced over at Nick, who was sitting next to Kurt. As I looked in their eyes, I saw what I thought looked like... _jealousy?_

No, that can't be right.

Blaine then rubbed my shoulder as he stood up.

"Okay" he said "Today, we are all here for Jeff."

Everyone turned their attention towards me.

"Hi" I said quietly

I heard gasps around the room and as I looked up to meet their eyes, they were filled with surprise. Surprised that I talked.

I cleared my throat.

"Okay, we you guys are probably all wondering why I'm here" nods. "Well, Blaine here convinced me to talk to you guys"

I looked down at my shoes said, "I'm going to tell you why I transferred to Dalton."

Now every single eyes was focused on me as the room fell silent.

"Well, for starters,..I'm, um" I looked around nervously. 'It's okay' Blaine whispered in my ear.

I gave him a shaky smile as I continued. "I'm gay."

There I said it. That wasn't so bad. Yet, I still refused to look at anyone.

"Okay well, I've known I was gay since I was about six. I used to watch peter pan and tell my mom how one day I wanted to marry him." I smiled slightly as I heard chuckles around the room. "My mom always told me that I could do whatever my heart desired. Well, um the next year, I was in second grade, when my mom died." I heard a small whimper from across the room and as I looked at Kurt, I saw Blaine had walked over there and wrapped an arm around his boyfriend. Huh, I'll have to ask about that later. "Anyways, my mom was the only accepting one in the relationship. You see, I was sick at school, and my mom died in a car accident on her way to pick me up. My dad told me that if I wasn't such a wimp, my mom wouldn't of had to drive to my school. He blames me for her death." I heard some small gasps across the room.

"Well, um, that day, the day I was mourning over my mother who I had only lost hours earlier, thinking it was all my fault, well umm, tha-that was the first time my father beat me." I looked over and pretty much everyone had tears in their eyes. "I didn't know it was wrong at the time. I didn't know it wasn't normal, but sometimes it got too much. It took so much strength not to fight back. I knew I shouldn't even try because I had once, and that got me an even worse beating. Well, as I was saying, it got too much at one point." As I said this, I slowly started unbuttoning my shirt.

Blaine came up next to me, "You don't have to do this" he said quietly. "It's okay" I said.

I slowly took off my t-shirt and uncovered my secret. I heard a cry as I looked towards the couch and saw Nick. He had tears streaming out of his eyes, as did ninety-nine percent of the other boys in the room.

I looked around the room and saw David sobbing into Wes' shoulders, with Wes trying and failing to hold back tears, Kurt shaking as he huddled into Blaine's chest, Blaine looking at me with so much emotion as tears trickled down his cheeks, Thad and Trent white as sheets, Cameron pulling his kneees up to his chest, Sebastian speechless (for once), and Charlie staring into my eyes with so many emotions mixed into one that I couldn't quite capture what he was feeling.

"So, this is what I did." I looked at the ground shamefully with tears filling my eyes.

"What happened?" Wes asked pointing to the long scar on my abdomen.

"Oh. Umm, well this is the reason my dad hasn't beaten me for almost two months."

And here we go..

**Next time! the reason for the scar! the reason for the hospital! Sorry, this is short! :(**

**I'll have more soon! I promise! Next chapter up in the next couple days! Hope you like! R&R PLEASE! :D 3 LOVE YOU GUYSS! ;)**


	7. Chapter 7

**HEY! here's another chapter! and yes, I am a starkid, (for my revi****ewer who was wondering) (: **

**Here you go! Well I hope you like this chapter! Review please! ;)**

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><p>"I've always been bullied." I said "Before I even knew I gay, I was different, and a lot of people didn't like that. I was pushed into lockers, tripped in the hallways, picked last for team sports, gotten food thrown at me, all the typical bullying.<p>

When I came out, it got even worse. The locker shoves got harder, the glares were mean and cruel, phonecalls, the football team even outed me to my dad. His beatings got worse, he said, 'A fag was meant to be treated like what it was, a sin'. Every once in a while, he would just give me the occasional punch, and never even said anything when I came home with a black eye or a limp from what the football team was doing to me. Eveyone wanted me to suffer.

Well, one day, I got stuck in class talking to the teacher, so when I arrived at my locker, the hallways were empty, and eerily quiet.."

* * *

><p><em>Slam! Out of nowhere, I was pressed up against the lockers. I already felt the bruise forming on my chest.<em>

_"What do you want James?" I asked my main tormentor as he twirled me around to face him. He was putting all his weight on top of me, the locker pressing into recent bruises on my back._

_"No need for attitude Jeff-ey"_

_"Just leave me alone" I said, my jaw clenched tightly._

_"I don't think you're in position to be giving orders Sterling." He said harshly_

_Suddenly the rest of the football team walked around the corner holding Ethan, my boyfriend of two months._

_"Jeff?" he said quietly._

_"Ethan! Are you okay?"_

_"Shutup!" James snapped. I flinched. He saw this and laughed bitterly._

_"Aw, is little Jeff-ey scared?"_

_"Just leave me alone" I tried pushing him away._

_"I thought I told you to shut up. If you don't keep your mouth shut then-" he waved towards where Ethan was being held. A football player named Eric punched Ethan in the stomach, hard. He looked up at me gasping for air._

_"Please, I'll do whatever you want, just leave him out of it." I said trying to get out of James grasp, over to my boyfriend._

_"How could I leave him out of it when he's a fairy Just. Like. You.?" he asked, emphasizing each word with more pressure to my already bruised chest._

_I stared at him wide-eyed._

_Suddenly, there were punches, kicks, and before I knew it, I was on the hard, cold floor curling up, trying, and failing, to block the blows._

_Before I knew it, I was succumbed to darkness, the last thing my eyes saw was my boyfriend's head getting smashed into the floor._

* * *

><p><em>I woke up in a weird place. <em>

_'_Where am I?'_ I wondered. Then, I felt the pounding ache coming from my head and ribs. I winced as I took a breath._

_All I remember is the hallway, getting pushed into the locker, the football team, pain, and then I saw-_

_"Ethan?" I yelled the loudest I could, which ended up echoing across what I realized was an empty, abandoned warehouse. The shout gave me a pulsating pain in my ribs that caused me to gasp for my breath._

_I heard a noise in the other direction, but as I tried to turn around, I realized I was bound to a pole. My hands were tied behind me and I couldn't see anything but was right in front of me._

_There it was again. I now figured out the noises I heard were footsteps._

_Suddenly there was the entire football team standing in front of me with smirks on their faces, their eyes filled with hatred._

_"Where is Ethan?" I asked_

_"Oh, we took care of him" James said_

_"He's where he belongs." Another guy said. I think his name was Josh._

_"And where would that be?" I asked, scowling_

_"In Hell." Eric spat at me._

_What? Di-Did they kill him? No! No! They couldn't have!_

_"NO!" I yelled through my tears, as I tried to pull at the restraints._

_The next part went by in a flash. I wasn't sure which football player threw the first punch, but suddenly, punches, kicks, and slaps were all aimed at me. I was crying now, but didn't move. It wasn't like I could even go anywhere if I tried._

_Laughter. That's what I heard. They thought this was a joke. One big fucking joke. My life, in their hands, and they're laughing._

_Then, a flash of silver from James pocket. _

_Then pain, agonizing, excruciating, searing, white-hot pain erupted in my stomach._

_My screams echoed off the walls of the warehouse. I was sure they were loud enough for someone a block away to hear them. It seemed someone did, because in some stroke of luck, I heard distant running footsteps and a loud,_

_"HEY! GET AWAY FROM HIM!" from a stranger._

_Then, the guys were gone. There was the stranger yelling into his phone, kneeling in front of my almost life-less body._

_"Help" I whispered_

_"Help-" The man cut me off, "Don't worry, you're going to be okay, help is coming. Its okay"_

_"No, help, help-" I tried to say, "Help_

_Ethan-"_

_Darkness._

* * *

><p><em>Beep. Beep. Beep.<em>

_That was the first sound entering my ears as I was reacquainted with reality._

_I was in a hospital, that was for sure, but I couldn't move, or open my eyes. I lost consciousness once again._

* * *

><p><em>I didn't wake up again until the next week. This time, I opened my eyes. I was in a sort of haze because of the pain meds. I didn't feel a thing. I was confused at first, but then my mind remembered the events as the remembrance of the pain put images in my mind.<em>

_I shut my eyes as tightly as I could, and tried to fill my head with happy thoughts. It didn't work._

_My doctors told me that had put me in a medically induced coma. I had officially died twice. Once in the ambulance, and the second time on the operating table. I lost a lot of blood, they told me. The knife I was stabbed with punctured my left kidney, and they had to perform emergency surgery to remove the organ._

_Three cracked ribs, internal bleeding, dislocated shoulder, more internal bleeding, so many bruises, and internal bleeding. They said I had lost five pints of blood, so a little under half of my entire blood supply was gone. Luckily, my blood wasn't a rare type, or I'd be dead._

_I was in the hospital for another week before they discharged me._

_Then, a week later, I came to Dalton._

* * *

><p>Silence followed my story, until Thad spoke up.<p>

"Wha-what happened to Ethan?" Thad stuttered through his own tears. The quiet

question might as well of been a yell in the silence of the room.

I gulped before answering.

"H-He umm died before I even woke up in the warehouse.

They, They cracked his skull.

He, umm, he, he bled out.

He was there for hours before I woke up. He had just died

when the guys attacked me.

And before you ask, Eric was arrested for the beating, but the rest

of the team, including James, were never found.

If they were f-found, then they-they'd

be up against, ma-man slaughter, a-assault, and att-attempted mu-mur-murder, but they're

still out-out there, and I-I wouldn't no how to deal with it, if I ever s-saw them

aga-again"

I wasn't able to cover up a sob after that.

Soon I found myself sobbing on the ground with ten pairs of arms surrounding me. We

were all sobbing in one another's arms, but my cries the loudest. As I

listened to my own breathing to try and calm down, I looked over at Nick who was

closest to me. His eyes made me want to cry again. His eyes were filled with pain, anger,

sadness, hurt, and heartbreak.

Emotions I never wanted to see in his gorgeous eyes.

He leaned over and whispered in my ear.

"I will never let anyone hurt you, ever again." His words did bring more tears to my eyes.

Everyone else had stood up now, as they were walking around sniffling and Blaine and

Kurt whispering reassuring words to each other, Nick was still holding me as tight as he

could.

Suddenly, he stood up, but not before kissing me on the cheek, and walking out

of the room with tears silently falling down his face.

Blaine came over and offered me a hand. I took his hand and as we walked out the door,

Kurt latched on to my other hand, and we strode back to our dormitories, my shoulders

feeling like a huge weight has been lifted.

* * *

><p><strong>Wow, This was REALLY hard to write. I hope you like this, it should get happy...soon. (: R&amp;R PRETTY PLEASE WITH A REDVINE ON TOP? To whoever is reading this, thank you, it means a lot, and it means even more to me when I get those amazing review! ;D 3<strong>


	8. Chapter 8

**Here, you go! Chapter 8! **

**There's a lot of fluff, little angst you have to squint to find, and more fluff! A cute little chapter!**

**Enjoy! Boys Kisses! 3**

* * *

><p>I let go of Blaine and Kurt's hands and ran up to my room. I found Nick lying face down on his bed.<p>

''hey'' I said softly  
>''hi'' he mumbled<br>''are you okay?''  
>''i should be the one asking you that'' he snorted. ''come here'' he said turning over to face me.<p>

I walked over and he enveloped me in his arms.  
>The next thing I knew, I was crying into Nick's chest.<br>The last thing I remember was a tear from Nick's eye dropping onto my cheek before losing all consciousness.

* * *

><p><strong>Next day*<strong>

I woke up startled by a dream, when I realized I wasn't in my bed, nor was I alone. I felt Nick's arms tighten around me while he was still asleep.

I smiled before I remembered the events leading up to this.  
>When I tried to get up, Nick stirred beside me.<br>His eyelashes fluttered open and he looked at me, ''morning'' he kissed my forehead.  
>I blushed and then he realized what he did.<br>''oh-oh my god, I am so sorry'' he panicked.  
>I pulled him back down next to me, ''it's okay, I don't mind'' I blushed.<br>He laughed and pulled me closer.  
>I closed my eyes and put my head on his chest.<p>

There was a knock at the door but neither of us moved. The door opened and Wes walked in.  
>''hey, I just wanted to se- Woah!'' he stopped mid-sentence. ''Awww!'' he cried in a childish voice.<br>Nick threw a pillow at Wes and mumbled into my hair sleepily, ''go 'way''  
>''okay okay'' he ran out of the room screaming, ''David! David! Niff is finally official!''<p>

Nick started laughing.  
>''whats Niff?'' I asked<br>''it's-um, it's our '' he said something I couldn't hear.  
>''What was that?'' I asked amused.<br>''itsourcouplename'' he looked down and blushed.  
>''oh, well is that what you want us to be?'' I asked quietly looking into his eyes.<br>''yes'' He whispered so quietly I almost didn't catch it.  
>I smiled, ''good'' I whispered against his lips.<p>

I never understood when people said that they felt fireworks when they kissed. I always thought it was some chick thing or just in movies. When our lips met, it wasn't even fireworks, it was more like a nuclear explosion. It was as if the only thing in the world were his soft lips moving gently against mine. Nothing else mattered in that moment.  
>I smiled against his lips and we pulled away.<br>''cmon let's get ready for class'' I said.  
>He groaned but got up anyways.<p>

We got ready and shared a quick kiss before opening the door and walking down to the cafeteria.

As we were walking, I looked down and intertwined my fingers with Nick's.  
>He looked into my eyes and smiled.<p>

''I could get used to this'' he whispered in my ear, grinning. His breath made me shiver which only resulted in his smile to grow larger.

''cmon'' I said blushing as we walked into the cafeteria.

* * *

><p>We walked in to the cafeteria and all eyes were on Nick and me. I wished the floor would just open up and eat me. Nick, sensing my hesitation, wrapped an arm around my waist and directed me to the Warbler's table. Everyone smiled at us and I looked down and blushed, moving closer to Nick. Conversation stayed light that morning, not concentrating on anything that happened last night. I smiled lovingly at Nick, who was having a very serious conversation with Blaine about a football game that I couldn't care less about. Throughout breakfast, I didn't talk, but watched amusingly at the exchanges around the table.<p>

When the bell rang, we got up and Nick kissed my knuckles before going off with Blaine to class, while I walked to History with Kurt and Trent. I couldn't wait until lunch to sit with my beautiful boyfriend.

Lunch came quickly that day and as I turned the corner, I ran into someone and fell to the floor. Suddenly, I wasn't at Dalton, but back at my old school. And this wasn't random kid, it was James standing over me with a smirk playing on his lips. I cowered into the ground. Those green eyes threatening harmful memories to form into my brain. My vision started swimming and I was having trouble breathing. I had one thought as my vision went black-

_panic_ _attack._

* * *

><p><strong>Nick's POV*<strong>

I walked into the cafeteria, but didn't see Jeff anywhere.

"Have you seen Jeff?" I asked David

"No, haven't seen him. Actually, he wasn't in Math with me." he looked confused.

A guy passing me, I think his name was Justin, overheard our conversation.

"You said you were looking Jeff?"

I turned to him. "Yeah?"

"He's in the nurse's office. I bumped into him accidently and he started freaking out and passed out." Now that I think about it, he looked very shaken standing in front of me.

"Thanks!" I yelled as I ran out of the cafeteria.

I ran all the way to the nurse and up to her desk.

"I need, need to se-see Jeff S-Sterling" I said panting

"Okay, he just woke up so you need to be very quiet with him. He suffered a mild panic attack a couple hours ago so you need to keep him very calm."

I nodded and she let me to the back.

Jeff was sitting up in the bed, looking very pale, but still having the vibrant look in his eyes that I loved.

"Hey babe" I said. His eyes lightened and the corners of his lips twitched into a small smile at the term of endearment.

"Hi" he said softly

"How are you feeling?" I asked

"Better, now that you're here" he said, but then blushed at the cheesiness of the answer.

I grinned and used my thumb to tilt up his chin and pecked him on the lips. He smiled and I whispered "Good." into his ear, feeling very proud of the shiver that ran up his spine at the close proximity.

I pecked him on the lips one more time before grabbing his hand. "C'mon, let's get you out of here. We'll skip the rest of the day, head up the room, watch movies, and cuddle. Sound good?"

"Very" he said standing up and following me out the room, our fingers still entwined.

* * *

><p><strong>MY FLUFFY LITTLE CHAPTER! UP NEXT,WELL, YOU WILL JUST HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE! R&amp;R!<strong>


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay, so here is Chapter 9! Its super short, but I thought we needed some more fluff before an angsty chapter, soo yeahh, anywho, enjoy! :D**

* * *

><p>Over the next couple weeks, I became more and more fond of Dalton. I hung out with Blaine a lot, and today I was going to the mall with him, Nick, Kurt, and some of Kurt's friends from Lima.<p>

Nick and I just got out of the car at the mall when we spotted Blaine, Kurt, and six girls.

"Hey!" Kurt waved.

We walked over, smiling. Kurt introduced me to all the girls.

"This is Quinn, Mercedes, Brittany, Satan-***cough*** I mean Santana" Everyone chuckled "Rachel, and Tina."

I introduced myself to everyone, seeing as Nick had already met them before.

We walked in the mall, and headed towards Charlotte Russe first. Each girl walked out with a couple bags, and me, being the gentleman, offered to carry a couple.

"Do you need any help?" I asked Brittany before taking a couple bags, seeing as how she was struggling.

"Thank you!" she exclaimed cheerfully, "I think they were trying to attack me!"

I laughed. "Damn Duval" Santana said to Nick "Do you know where I can get one of those?" She asked, directing her question to me.

"Santana!" Kurt screeched "Behavior!"

"Whatever Hummel, I was just kidding" he eyed her suspiciously "Don't worry Sterling, I'm a lesbian"

I smiled at her, slightly. Nick just wrapped his arm around me, protectively, muttering something along the lines of "never stopped her before"

I heard that and snorted with laughter.

Nick smiled at me knowingly, while everyone just stared amusingly.

"Is that like a dolphin thing?" Brittany asked, eyeing me. That caused me to double over in laughter, along with the rest of our group, excluding Brittany, who just stood there with a quizzical, yet confused look on her face.

Soon enough she started laughing as well, even though she had no clue as to why we were laughing so hard we were crying.

Overall, we were all having a blast.

We spent the whole day in and out of stores, each couple holding hands, or with Brittany and Santana, locked pinkies, and sharing kisses when no one else was looking. Everyone without their other half, just cooed and 'awed' at our 'adorableness'.

Though no one suspected it, I was still terrified. I haven't been anywhere like this since the attack, and it scared the hell out of me. I didn't want anyone to worry, so I flashed a smile when needed and played along.

I started loosening up a bit after a couple hours and just came to the conclusion that I was being paranoid. Although, I still had a weird feeling that someone was watching us. That thought quickly flew to the back of my mind as Nick lent in for another kiss. His kisses seem to always have that effect on me. And I couldn't enjoy that more.

As Nick pulled away, I mumbled a "no way" before grabbing the back of his neck, and pulling us towards the dressing room with our lips never leaving each other's, ignoring the whistles and catcalls from our friends.

The door clicked as I turned the lock and turned back towards my boyfriend, seeing something I could only portray as lust in his eyes. Our lips crashed together and Nick gave a swipe of his tongue across my lower lip and I allowed entrance willingly. At first the kiss was passionate, but soon turned to desperate and needy as lips, tongue, and teeth clashed together. I sat down on the bench as Nick straddled me and then started kissing roughly down my neck, and as I was about to moan, his lips left my skin just for a second and I had to hold back a whine. I leaned forwards again just as-

"Duval! Sterling! Put your clothes back on! We're goin' to the 'stix!"

I groaned but stood up and fixed my hair before opening my door.

"Thanks a lot Satan" I grumbled

Everyone just laughed as I grabbed Nick's hand once again and we headed out the mall headed towards Breadstix.

Today really was awesome.

But of course, whenever something good happens in my life, there's always something, or better yet, _someone_, to fuck it up.

"Well hello there, _Jeffrey_" he said with a sneer, "Long time, no see"

* * *

><p><strong>Cliffhanger! I'm sorry! I promise to update soon!<strong>

**Sorry, it was short :/ R&R! **

**Reviews, they make me very happy! _*puppy dog eyes*_**


	10. AN

**A/N:**

Hello, Bekah here!(:

This is NOT a chapter

I got this prompt a couple chapters ago so I wanted to use it(:

* * *

><p>Glasz Wingsz, Thank you(:<p>

**Prompt:**

'I'd love to see what would happen if Jeff did see those football players again and the Warblers were with him and stood up for him, and comforted him afterwards.'

* * *

><p>I love the idea and I found a perfect way to incorporate it into my story(:<p>

I will update this very soon, hopefully in a couple days(:

soo yeahh, bye guys!

.love.3


	11. Chapter 10

**Hola! Sorry to keep you waiting! This Chapter was very hard to hard to write..**

**I've noticed that I haven't put a disclaimer..soo I guarantee that I AM going to forget later, so for now, this applies to EVERY CHAPTER! (PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE.!..)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own glee or anything you recognize, except for Darren Criss, jkayy, I wish I did... I only own... a puppy! Anywho, Glee belongs to Ryan Murphy**

**Warning: Self-Harm, and depressing stuff (in thought) if this triggers you in ANY way, please don't read.,oh! and some language..**

**On that note.. Enjoy..?**

* * *

><p>I visibly tensed and everyone else looked between James and me curiously.<p>

"Hello J-James" I cursed inwardly at my stutter.

Suddenly the entire room exploded with shouts coming from Blaine, Kurt, and Nick when they realized who this guy was.

Santana and the other girls just stood there wondering what the hell was going on.

I heard bits and pieces of the yelling.

"What are you-!"

and

"Get away-!"

and

"How could you-!

were flying through the air, then suddenly.

"AYE! What the fuck is going on here!" Santana shouted louder than everyone else.

Everyone quieted down, wondering how to explain this without revealing any of my secrets. So, I spoke up.

"Oh you know, your average day homophobe that tried to murder me four months ago." I said sarcastically looking at my tormentor, still having a freak out on the inside.

Santana turned from me to James, who was smirking at the group.

"Hello James" she spoke confidently "Want to tell us what you're doing here, before we call the cops?" she asked innocently.

"Don't you guys think you're being a little dramatic? I'm just coming to say hi to an old friend" he said and attempted to clap my shoulder.

"Don't. you. fucking. touch. me."

"Ooh and what is little Jeffey gonna do about it?" he asked, emphasizing with a poke to my chest after each word.

I froze. I couldn't move, or say anything back. I was terrified. James had that same fire in his eyes, the day he pulled out the knife, and I couldn't do anything except release a little whimper.

"Oh Hell. No." Santana said pushing James away from me.

"First of all, you don't mess with him. That's my job now. Second, homophobe, huh? I'm a lesbian, got something to say, well say it to me. And I should probably tell you that if you were to make that idiotic choice, I will ends you. I will cut off your dick, that is assuming if you have one, and feed it to you. If that doesn't make you wipe that silly little smirk off your dumbass face, then maybe I will get my whole group up in here, 'cause I can take on a little pussy like you 'cause I am from Lima Heights Adjacent. You know where that is asshat? It's on the wrong side of the tracks. So leave now, unless the culture you were brought up in encourages feasts of one's junk."

With that he winked at me, whispering, "This isn't over" before looking back to Santana and fleeing the scene. I could've sworn I saw something that looked like fear in his eyes.

"Holy shit, that was awesome" Nick whispered in my ear. I just nodded, not trusting my words.

"I think I'll take Jeff back to Dalton" Nick said before muttering a 'thank you' to Santana, and 'goodbye's to everyone else, me just nodding to them in agreement.

* * *

><p>I walked back to my room after declining the offer to go down to dinner with the rest of the guys. Why did I just freeze like that at the mall? Why couldn't I stand up for myself? Fight back? How could some chick I just met that day make James scared of her? God, I'm so weak. I probably deserved being terrified to death at that warehouse. Or at home. God, if I wasn't such a wimp, maybe people would stop picking on me. Why can't I just be strong, like Nick, or Blaine, or Kurt, or God, even Santana? If I could stand up for myself, I would never have these questions running through my head.<p>

I hate it. I hate being weak. I hate my life. I hate James. I hate my life. I hate all the bullies. I hate my life. I hate my dad. I hate being gay. I hate being me. I wish I was straight. Wait, no because then I wouldn't have Nick. So, It's not being gay that I hate, it's just me. I hate myself.

God, my world is filled with hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. I am so sick of it. I can't even like myself, so I hate me. And then, everyone in this world hates me too. For what, loving someone? It's not like me loving a guy is going to kill someone, so why does everyone hate me for being different? Everyone's different. If we were all the same, nothing in the world would be the same. Nothing would work right. It'd be boring.

I'm so sick of it. I shake my head before wondering how long I've been standing in the bathroom attached to my dorm. I'm just going to take a hot shower and go to bed. Yeah, that sounds good.

I jump in the shower and immediately make the water scalding. I can still feel James' fingers on my chest. I scrub off the essence of bad memories of gay bashing from my skin.

Then, I see a glimmer of something in the corner of my eye. The razor. I haven't used this in a couple weeks. I haven't had to. But now, there's that strange sensation on my wrists, the itching feeling, and now I need it.

No, I deserve it.

* * *

><p><em>Scratch.<em>

For being weak.

_Cut._

For letting someone stick up for me.

_Stab._

For being scared.

_Slice._

For being a wimp.

_Slit._

For being a bad friend, and a horrible boyfriend.

_Tear._

Nick doesn't deserve me, no one does.

_Rip._

For crying now.

_Shred._

I'm still crying.

_Slash._

Now, I can't stop.

_Scratch. Cut. Stab. Slice. Slit. Tear. Rip. Shred. Slash._

_Slash._

_Slash._

Finally, I'm done. I put my arms under the water and watch as the water turns red, before pink, and then clear again down the drain.

I love the feeling. The amazing release when the cold metal touches my fragile flesh. Its invigorating.

_Control._

* * *

><p>I bandage up the wounds and put on some sweats and a cotton long-sleeve t-shirt. It's a good thing its winter. Now, I can wear long-sleeves every day without any questions. I can pretend I'm okay. It's alright, I've had a ton of practice. But now, I can feel myself shutting off. This time, I'm not going to let anyone in. I don't even want to talk now. Honestly, James scared me today. Not scared, terrified.<p>

I can keep up the act for a little while. There's only a week until winter break. Then I can go home, relax, and get some peace and quiet. Scratch that, maybe I'd rather stay at Dalton.

Shit, why do I have to go home on break?

I totally forgot about a very pressing matter that has to do with going home for three weeks this break.

* * *

><p>My father.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>YAY! Hope you enjoyed?<strong>

**Reviews are like drugs to me!**

**Pretty pretty please?**

**Thank you so much for reading you guys!**

**R&R I'll update as soon as I can(:**


	12. Chapter 11

**A/N: **Okay, so sorry for taking forever to write this! I hope you like! **R&R** please? Thanks!

**Disclaimer:** (I REMEMBERED!) I do not own Jeff, Nick, Dalton, or any other characters, schools, show choirs, etc..

So basically, if you recognize it, I don't own it.

**Warnings: **Fluff!, Angst, Abuse, Hateful/Homophobic slurs, Language, and stuff.

Yup!

Enjoy my creation.. Muahahahaha! *Claps and grins evilly*

*clears throat* Anyway, you know what to do, and if you don't, then I can't help you, so go ask Brittany.

.love. 33 Enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>*Jeff's POV*<strong>

Shit.

I can't believe I forgot about my father.

The one I hate, or loathe, no, the one I-

_despise_.

I despise him more than anything else in this horrid world. More than James and his stupid little 'gang'.

And now, I'm packing to go home with him for three. fucking. weeks.

What the hell am I supposed to do?

I mean, I'm used to the pain, but I've been so happy lately. Well, on the outside, but still. Now, I have to go right back to where I started.

Fan-_fucking_-tastic.

* * *

><p>Nick offered to drive me home so that's why I'm in the passenger seat of his car turning into my driveway.<p>

Nick turned towards me with a questioning gaze.

"What?" I ask.

"Are you going to be okay? I mean, I know things aren't good with your dad, so you can come over with me for break, I mean I'd have to ask my parents, but they should-"

"Nick" I cut him off, "I'll be fine. I'll stay out of the house as much as I can and when I am home I'll be in my room."

"I know, I'm just worried that he might, I don't know, maybe he'll-"

This time I cut him off by attaching my lips to his. Our lips moved in sync until the need for air became too much.

"I love you" I said.

His eyes widened, before replying,

"I-I love you too" he said with a adorable smile playing on his lips and a blush reddening his cheeks.

"I'll be fine. I'll see you in a couple weeks. Bye Nick" I left before he could say anything more. Though, that seemed to be rather difficult for him as it took the slamming of my door to pull him out of his thoughts. But by then, I was by my front door and waving before walking inside, hearing his engine turn on and his car take off down the street.

The smile quickly left my face as I realized I was home alone.

Well, at least HE isn't home. _Yet_.

I ran up to my room and sat on my bed. I pulled my knees up to my chest and tried to calm myself down before I had another panic attack.

I quickly left, grabbing my keys and wallet, and walked.

I walked for hours. Just around my neighborhood, before going back home.

I didn't even realize the black Honda was in the driveway.

* * *

><p><strong>*Nick's POV*<strong>

My whole drive home was filled with worry for Jeff. I didn't know his father, and wasn't sure I ever wanted to. I love Jeff, but honestly the idea of meeting someone as vile and ignorant as him scared the hell out of me.

I was yanked out of my thoughts as I pulled into my driveway.

I couldn't help but smile when I thought of my family. Sure, they weren't perfect. My parents are divorced, but that didn't stop them from loving me and my sister exactly the same. They still accepted me as I am when I came out two years ago. I never thought how lucky I was to have such an amazing family.

Although, I don't necessarily have a great past, but that's another story, and it doesn't have to do with my family. I should probably tell Jeff my story soon, seeing as how he told me about his, but mine doesn't even compare to the hell he's been through. But, I should still tell him, the only one that knows is Blaine. Yeah, I'll tell him. Not today, but soon.

I pushed those thoughgts away as I got out of my car.

I walked up to the door and unlocked it before stepping inside, smelling the scent of roasted chicken and macaroni and cheese floating through the house.

I was suddenly greeted by a giggling eight year old by the name of Grace.

"Hi Gracey!" I said, which resulted in as much of a bear hug as an eight year old can give, and a loud,

"Nicky!", ending in a cute squeal.

All the noise alerted my mother who came out from the kitchen in her apron.

"Nicky!" she yelled "Honey, I've missed you!" she held open her arms.

I crashed into her arms, returning her greeting.

We chatted for a while, before sitting down for a family dinner.

* * *

><p><strong>*Jeff's POV*<strong>

I walked into my house and didn't even have time to close the door before I was pushed which resulting in me crashing into a glass table.

I was dizzy before I realized what was going on and tensed up. No, we cannot do this. Not right now. Can I really have no peace?

A kick to my ribs. Another. And another.

Okay, I'm sure I heard a crack right there.

_Jesus_- God, that _FUCKING_ hurt.

Head slammed into the ground. A whimper escaped my tembling lips.

A harsh whisper in my ear.

"Welcome to hell, fag."

* * *

><p>A loud, bellowing laugh erupted from his drunken lungs.<p>

"You should be glad I sent you off the that preppy little school, 'cause I've been so pissed off at you. First, you kill my wife, then I lose my only son to fairies, and now my boss fucking fired me." _How is that even my fault?_ I don't get it.

A dark chuckle escaped his throat.

"I guess it was better that you weren't here, but now, won't we have a fun time? Merry Christmas."

I was still trying to cover up my sobs before a beer bottle collided with the side of my head sending me into a dark oblivion.

* * *

><p>I woke up a few hours later to dark spots clouding my vision and the loud snores of my father from where he passed out in the dining room invading my senses.<p>

I felt myself slipping into the pain-induced dreamland, but not before reaching into my pocket and dialing the number 2 before sending the call.

* * *

><p><strong>*Nick's POV*<strong>

I was sitting, enjoying dinner. I really was having a blast.

"And then Mrs. Trumpton said that my flower was pretty-" Grace rambled on about her second grade art class.

"That's wonderful Gracey, can I see the picture after dinner?" I asked, with a smile on my face.

"Okay!" she said, excitedly.

Then, my mom turned to me. "So honey, what about you? How's school?"

I put down my fork and smiled. "Its wonderful mom, and you know, I might have a boyfriend" I said grinning proudly.

I heard a squeal from my mother before, "Details. Nick. Now."

"Oh my god" I groaned "You sound like a gossiping teenage girl."

My mom just laughed, but added " Come on, Nicky you know you want to.." She said winking.

I sighed happily before starting. "Well, his name is Jeff, he's a junior like me, just transferred this year..." I continued to ramble about Jeff, my mother listening with a smile, my sister playing with her macaroni.

I kept talking about my boyfriend for a good five minutes before my phone rang. I shot my mom an apologetic glance before pulling my phone out of my pocket.

"Speak of the devil" I said, grinning.

I answered the phone with a breathless, "Hey babe, I was just talking about you"

I heard a couple short-labored breaths on the other side of the line. My emotion suddenly changed from bubbly to concern.

"Jeff? Babe? What's wrong?" My mom looked at me with furrowed eyebrows, Grace just glancing up at me.

The reply sent me on my feet, grabbing my keys and rushing out to my car, ignoring my mother's shouts and Grace's confused pleas.

"N-Nick. _Help._"

Before the line went dead.

* * *

><p><em><strong>OHMYGOD.<strong>_

That was like, short, but for some reason, took me **FOREVER** to write! Sorry about that!

* * *

><p><strong>Bob:<strong> Hi, I'm Bob, and I'm an addict.

**Everyone:** HI BOB!

**Bob:** I've been addicted to drinking for four years.

**Me:** Hi, the name's Bekah, and I'm an addict, currently suffering from horrible withdrawal.

**Everyone:** HI BEKAH!

**Me:** I honestly don't plan on beating this addiction, not at all, they feel too good.

**Addiction Specialist Person:** Care to elaborate on what you are dealing with Bekah?

**Me:** Yes, I'm Bekah, and I am addicted to reviews.


	13. Chapter 12

**A/N: Sorry it's been a while, I've been kind of busy, this one's a little short, and maybe not my best, but I enjoyed writing it.(:**

**.love.**

**-Bekah(: 33**

* * *

><p><strong>*Nick's POV*<strong>

I've sat by Jeff's bedside ever since he called me that night.  
>That was three days ago.<br>He still hasn't woken up.

The doctors keep saying things like, 'his wounds are healing nice, but his subconscious doesn't want to wake up.'

All I know for sure are two things:

1. Jeff- My strong, beautiful Jeff is in a coma, and I don't know when, or even if he'll wake up.

and

2. His father is nowhere to be found.

* * *

><p>He apparently fled the scene the second he saw me, knowing I had the police and an ambulance following me.<br>The police are looking for him, and I'm using all my strength not to join them on the search.  
>Except, if I went looking for him, I would find him and bring him to the police, but I can't promise if he'll be dead or alive.<br>Although, every time that thought comes to mind, I quickly push it to the back of my brain when I see my Jeff sitting there surrounded by various tubes and machines keeping him alive.

I feel a tear drop from behind my closed eyes. I'm actually surprised I have tears left considering all the crying I've done in the past few days.

I've talked to Jeff, sang to him, held his hand and kissed him, but nothing has happened. And I fear it never will. I know I'm being irrational, but I can't help but be terrified that he won't ever wake up, and then I'll be all alone, and I don't know if I can deal with being without the man I'm in love with. The man I want to spend the rest of my life with, get married, start a family.

Except he doesn't know those parts yet. I never got to tell him. And he might not ever know.  
>Now, I'm crying hard. My hands are wrapped around his left hand, with my forehead pressed against his unmoving fingers.<p>

Blaine is here with Kurt, rubbing my back while I cry, but I hear the occasional sniffle coming from both boys, so I know now that they're having trouble holding it together as well.  
>I turn away from Jeff and am immediately surrounded by two sets of comforting arms, where some heart-wrenching sobs escape my chest.<p>

* * *

><p>Four days. No progress.<p>

* * *

><p>Five days. Nothing.<p>

* * *

><p>Six days. No change.<p>

* * *

><p>Seven Days. Unmoving.<p>

* * *

><p>Eight. A twitch of the fingers.<p>

* * *

><p>Nine. A flutter beneath the eyelids.<p>

* * *

><p>Ten. A shiver.<p>

* * *

><p>Eleven. A small sigh.<p>

* * *

><p>It happened on the Twelfth day.<p>

I was sitting in my dorm with Wes, studying. Although, my thoughts weren't in my History textbook. They were about Jeff. That was when I got the call. I heard the ring, but I just didn't have the energy to pick it up.

For the past twelve days, I barely been eating, sleeping, talking even. Wes came to keep me company so I probably wouldn't drive myself insane.

I heard Wes pick up the phone.

"Nick's phone." Wes says lazily, I bet he hasn't gotten much sleep.

"Yes, yes he's here right now" He sounds...anxious?

"Really? No way!" No way? Who says that. Now, he's sounding excited? Hm.

"Yes Thank you!"

I heard him hung up and I looked over at him, tiredly. He was wearing a huge grin.

I raised my eyebrow questioningly.

"Jeff's awake!" he blurted out.

My heart stopped. Then restarted at an amazingly fast speed.

I was out of the room running down the stairs to the car park, vaguely registering Wes catching up to me and pulling me into his car, where David, Blaine, Kurt, and Thad were jumping in.

* * *

><p>I hadn't even realized I was crying until I heard other sniffles from around the car, noticing every guy was a little teary-eyed. Then, I lost it.<p>

I was sobbing uncontrollably into Kurt's welcoming arms, his shirt undeniably getting soaked with happy tears. Wow, Kurt's going to be pissed I messed up his clothes.

I pull back slightly, and whisper an apology that Kurt doesn't even acknowledge as we pull into the hospital parking lot.

Suddenly, I have a weird feeling in my stomach and pale instantly. Not sure where the sudden nerves come from, I hesitantly get out of the car and walk in to the dreaded facility. Wes is at the receptionist's desk, getting the room number.

* * *

><p><em>Oh god, that's why I'm nervous.<em>

_Wes never said he was alright, just that he was awake._

_What if he has brain damage? Or doesn't remember me?_

_Or, what if-_

* * *

><p>No Nick, snap out of it.<p>

* * *

><p>I look up to Wes who startled me out of my thoughts. He's holding a hand out to me which I gratefully take, as we head down to room 213.<p>

We walked in there, and I can't help the whimper that comes out of my throat when I see Jeff.

His eyes are barely opened and he's still covered in bruises, but he is still the most beautiful man I see.

He looks up and I slightly see the corners up his mouth twitch up before I lunge myself at the chair beside his bed.

I grab his hand and beam when he squeezes it.

In the back of my mind a notice a flicker of something in his eyes-

but I push that thought to the back of my mind as I press a kiss to his cheek and he smiles. His smile was always one of my favorite things about him. The way his eyes crinkled up at the corners, the slight blush when I kissed his cheekbones.

"I love you" I say

He looks at me from under his eyelashes, "I love you too"

His eyes are drooping, so I know his medication is making him drowsy.

"Baby, go to sleep, you're tired. I'll be right here when you wake up."

"Promise?" he asks, and I swear I saw fear in his eyes.

I tear up before replying, "Promise. I will never leave you, Jeffy"

And for the next few hours, the only thought in my mind is the small smile playing on his lips after I told him goodnight, and gently kissed each closed eyelid.

And for the first time in twelve days,

I smile.

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you liked it! A little fluffy-ish(?) at the end so yeah!<strong>

**LOVE YOU! :D**


	14. Epilogue

**Epilogue. I want to thank everyone for the wonderful reviews and I apologize for making you wait this long for an update. I had so much fun with this story, I may have an idea for a new story. I will get started on the as soon as I can. I love you guys. 333**

* * *

><p>It's been 6 years since the day I woke up from the coma. Nick and I are still going strong and I have him to thank for saving my life. My father was arrested, prison for life, and the Duval family practically adopted me afterward. Even James and his friends were found and arrested. 8 years in federal prison and a very strong restraining order. I look in the mirror and realize how much I've changed in the last couple years.<p>

A good change, though.

It was hard for quite a while. I had bad days, good days, relapses, achievements, but above all, I had Nick to keep me on my feet. Even when I felt like I couldn't go on, he was there with his arms wide open.

I turn away from the mirror and walk out of the room. _Its time._

I take the arm of Mr. Duval and walk to the double doors.

The doors open and my eyes search the room. Thad, Sebastian, Trent, Cameron, Charlie, Kurt, Blaine are standing up at the front. The rest of the Warblers and Nick's family are sitting in the audience. Grace and our newly adopted daughter, Isabella, are the flower girls. I smile at our little brunette beauty who is throwing flowers on the ground, a small giggle escaping her three year old lips. I start walking when my eyes zero in on_ him._ Nicolas Duval. my fiancé. My soon-to-be husband. He looks gorgeous as always, in his black classic tux, his arm out ready to grab mine.

I look into his eyes as the priest begins to speak, only answering when needed, and finally letting that first tear filled with joy drip out of my eye and slide down my cheek when Nick says the two words that make me feel happy, safe, at home.

_'I do.'_

* * *

><p><strong>The end! Hope you enjoyed! Thanks for everyone's support! 333 .love.<strong>


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